Batman V Superman? V is for Vapid, let me count the ways!

If DC sought to be unlike Marvel in how to do an ensemble view, then they succeeded beyond their wildest nightmares. However, let’s look at why and how it failed…

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They tried cramming 40 years of comics into 20 minutes, this would have been better off as expanded into 3 segments - call them Trinity, but this means Continuity which DC is clearly a stranger to?

They tried cramming 40 years of comics into 20 minutes, this would have been better off as expanded into 3 segments – call them Trinity, but this means Continuity which DC is clearly a stranger to?

Lex Luthor – when Gene Hackman played him against Chris Reeve it was as a clown, and to a lesser extent with Kevin Spacey in the semi- worthy Brandon Routh revival. But Jesse Eisenberg as the child of an immigrant? As mentioned in a viral video, he did seem more of The Riddler a la Jim Carrey than Anthony LaPaglia’s resolute yet twistedly noble villain in the animated All Star Superman. At no point in the picture did they give flesh to why he hated Bruce Wayne or Kal-El. The reason given at the end for his bald head was inadequate and implied he was about to get the Death Penalty, not just lounge about like Jeffrey Dahmer.

In the mid-80s, Elliott S! Maggin wrote 2 profound and ahead of their time treatises on the Kryptonian – the novels “Man Of Tomorrow” and “Miracle Monday” where he explored the Lex psychose in massive detail, and it was not just a throwaway point Supes made me lose my hair, in fact, that was the least of it… Luthor was doing a once in a Lifetime experiment to create Life without gametes and zygotes with his DNA as the lynchpin of the proposed descendant, but Superman destroyed it and Lex could not recreate the experiment and thus his friendship for the Kryptonian translated to enmity.

Then there was the Kryptonian ship which housed General Zod, it stated to Eisenberg it was 37% functional and when Lex was about to create Doomsday, the computer at first declined on the basis of the Kryptonian council, even if it knew (at 37% capacity mind you) that this arbiter was now extinct, could it not suggest a logic loop that it cannot break was that contravention of such genetics required a new decision or amendment from the same council - much like archaic Earth Programming a la Windows? Jesse should stick to "Now You See Me" and its sequel with Daniel Radcliffe!

Then there was the Kryptonian ship which housed General Zod, it stated to Eisenberg it was 37% functional and when Lex was about to create Doomsday, the computer at first declined on the basis of the Kryptonian council, even if it knew (at 37% capacity mind you) that this arbiter was now extinct, could it not suggest a logic loop that it cannot break was that contravention of such genetics required a new decision or amendment from the same council – much like archaic Earth Programming a la Windows? Jesse should stick to “Now You See Me” and its sequel with Daniel Radcliffe!

How can Superman successfully fly holding a Kryptonite spear? How can he recover from Batman’s Kryptonite dust so quickly without using the sun for recovery (clearly borrowed from Frank Miller’sThe Dark Knight Returns“), there are too many inconsistencies.

Henry Cavill as Superman is competent, the portrayal of Lois Lane was Meh and never said how or why Supes loved her so, Fishburne as Perry White was a typical Editor/Publisher and Gal Godot as Wonder Woman was probably the best thing for for this sorry mess - she fought Doomsday better than Bats or Kal-El.

Henry Cavill as Superman is competent, the portrayal of Lois Lane was Meh and never said how or why Supes loved her so, Fishburne as Perry White was a typical Editor/Publisher and Gal Godot as Wonder Woman was probably the best thing for for this sorry mess – she fought Doomsday better than Bats or Kal-El.

Ben Affleck was better and more Batman as Bruce Wayne than when he wore the bat-suit, his fight to save Martha Kent was brutal and again violated the original comics code of murder, yet when placed in reality can be understood if not ratified… It also ignored Batman’s early shunning of firearms precisely for the way his parents died.

Finally no clue nor anything in the end credits, which cheesed off many… Luckily, I won a ticket via my cell provider, I’d be very annoyed if I wasted my money for this dreck, please wait for Marvel’s Civil War which demonstrates the art of plotting, continuity and character depth and motivation in the same time frame as a regular movie – maybe DC should pay Marvel to show them how?

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