Cheryl Hughes, when speaking on the subject of cheating, once wisely said, “When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves-they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationship with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to be true.” This statement should certainly be plastered on everyone’s forehead as the summer gets into high gear and the short skirts and booty shorts get shorter and tighter by the minute. The tragedy of it all!
According to the statistics, 22 percent of married men, versus 14 percent of married women, have strayed at least once during their married life, so obviously this is not a one sided issue. At this time of year however, the stress of having to deal with the outside lover or lovers will become an issue, as time spent outside of the home will certainly be more noticeable.
This definitely leads to a lot of problems, arguments and frustrations in a relationship, and can certainly increase the amount of breakups noted at this time. Women on the other hand, tend to leave their partners during this season, because of the frustration of their situations, if they believe that the relationship is not “moving fast enough“.
The approaching new season is always seen as a time to start over. Women often get discouraged if there is no sign that their man intends to “put a ring on it.” Married women often walk away from years of unhappiness in their marriages, and attempt to receive a new lease on their individual lives.
“Sandy, I am beginning to feel as if my man is seeing someone else on the side,” my girlfriend Nicole whined recently. “Donavan, (of course not his real name), never seems to have enough time for me these days. And to be honest with you, he is just acting kinda weird,” she also added. “Did I tell you that during the Easter Holiday I did not see him at all as he said that he was in the hospital going through minor surgery?” I mean, did he see the word stupid marked on my forehead when we first met?” she asked. “The fact is, every time that summer rolls around, he pulls a disappearing act.”
I tried my best not to be too harsh, as not only did I know that she really cared about him, but I sensed that she was beginning to “smell the coffee beans” herself. “Well Nicole, you have to follow your female intuition,” I said to her. “You are not stupid. Which man goes into minor surgery, not call you, his supposed girlfriend, to at least tell her?” I asked. I am happy to report that Nicole took the bull by the horn, and although now 100 percent single, is much happier by herself.
Her not having to wonder where her so-called boyfriend was spending his summertime, has given her the extra time to focus on her own goals. This decision was made entirely by her, as she felt empowered to control her own happiness.
His numerous excuses I believe, demonstrated that he was not being entirely truthful with Nicole. My suggestion to everyone in a monogamous relationship is to stay true to your special someone, even as the summer rolls along. The hot season is certainly a time to turn a new leaf, and despite the cheap thrill of having a mistress or lover on the side, you run the risk of losing it all if your secret affair is ever brought to light.
You definitely need to think ahead, beyond the summertime, as soon winter will be roaring its ugly, and that summertime love might not last, mini-skirt, booty shorts, tank tops and all. Then you might be longing for your trusty old love that you threw away for a short, almost three month fling. “The grass is not always greener on the other side,” they say.