RELATIONSHIPS by Sandy Daley – “Should married men be treated like the 10 plagues of Egypt?”
Never, ever date a married man! Why would you want to anyway? You will never be seen as number one: which you are. Men who cheat really have no intention of ever leaving their wives. The only reason why they are with you is to get something that their wife is not giving to them. His wife has probably stopped wearing sexy lingerie and stilettos to bed, and is now in track pants and rollers; no longer trying to appear sexy for her man. Now, the only thing left for him to do is to find himself a little honey on the side, who will continue to fulfill his sexual desires without costing him too much. You, of course, are the schmuck that he has set his eyes on to fill that void.
He swears to you that he “is definitely going to divorce her and then marry you!” How many affairs ever turn into marriages? It is estimated that only 1%-10% of married men who have had affairs, end up leaving their spouses and marrying their affair partners. Awful odds wouldn’t you say? You will waste your life waiting for your Mr. Wonderful to divorce his wife, and your Saturday nights begin to resemble one long, drawn-out, sad chick flick: with you as the star. The other thing to consider is that, most times when a man does leave his wife and does get a divorce, he very rarely gets into a relationship with the woman that he was having the affair with, as he now feels that it is his time to sow all his wild oats.
So what would have been the outcome? You would have wasted all your Saturday nights and holidays, longing for your Mr. Wonderful to be by your side, wishing he was holding you in his arms. He is able to sneak a call here and there of course, while his wife, who is usually “the boss” of him, bellows in the background for him to “come and take out the garbage“. In your mind you are thinking, “How could he ever continue to be with her, while I am available with my sexy body and supportive character? Does he not know that I love him?”
Get a grip girl! The only reason that he continues to be with her is because he loves her. This is quite evident because he is still by her side, even with her nasty attitude, sweatpants, and rollers in her hair. The communication in his marriage might have broken down and he needs a shoulder a cry on and someone to talk to. Don’t be the schmuck and the mistress on the side! It should be very obvious to you that he really cares for his wife, because not only is she not doing the right things to keep her man but you are doing the right things, aren’t you? And who is he married to, you? Her, not you!
There is nothing wrong with being friends with a married man, but do remember that there are lines to draw in your friendship. If you find it getting too cozy, or if you are starting to feel attracted to him, distance yourself immediately. Being attracted to someone is not wrong, but acting upon the emotion is morally wrong. Unless you are prepared to waste your life on someone that will never be yours, dating a married man should never be an option. Besides, why would you ever want to be second to any other woman? There are lots of men out there, so go out and get your own!