RELATIONSHIPS with Sandy Daley – The Joy of Text: Stand by Your man; or Not?
As the Anthony Weiner scandal gets juicier and juicier by the minute, I am baffled at the amount of media coverage that this story has garnered. For those of you who have been living underneath a rock over the past few weeks, Anthony Weiner is the disgraced ex-congressman who was forced to resign from Congress in 2011 because of sending lewd messages to women (including pictures of his private parts), and has now thrown his hat in the ring as the possible mayor of New York City.
Shocked as we may be at Weiner’s new sexting revelation, I do believe that most of us are more shocked at Huma Haberdin’s decision to forgive Weiner once again and, “stand by her man.” Far be it from me to instruct another human being on how to live his or her life, but I do believe that at some point we must put our foot down (especially us ladies), and take a stand for ourselves, or else we will constantly be seen as doormats: to be used and discarded by men.
On a personal level, I am a very happy single woman who does believe in love, but I do know what I deserve and what I will not settle for. I am very happy to compromise but I will not settle, much to the chagrin of my mother, so desperate for me to “settle down”. Yet, I am not sad, as I have discovered something much more important than a man. I have finally found Sandy!
Others however disagree and insist that I find a man. “But Sandy, my mother always say to me, “Yu mean to God say that yu no see nobody that you like? Yu waan dead by yourself?” I do agree with her that I should find a partner and yet; I am in no hurry. I know my worth that I continue to believe that I deserve the best of everything, including love. When a woman knows her worth, she is less likely to settle for just anything that comes through the door, no matter what her age or position in life.
Some of my male friends however have always tried to convince me to settle. “Sandy, you are not going to find a man that does not have two or three women on the side,” a very prominent and well educated friend of mine stated the other day during our long distance phone conversation. Let’s call him Donovan to make things easier! “Not my cup of tea,” I said to Donovan. “Then I should be able to reciprocate this arrangement and have at least two or three lovers then right?” I asked, knowing the answer before I even uttered the words.”. “Nah man Sandy! Yu caan disrespect the man like that,” my friend screamed over the phone. You just don’t understand the man ting no matter how hard you try,” Donovan continued to say. I shook my head and laughed out loud at my friend’s passionate response.
Yet, with all the disappointments of the year, I am patient, knowing what my Mr. Right looks like in my head. That mental picture of him allows me to remain steadfast in the belief that he will appear; soon. So I wait; patiently. Being patient with one’s self not only allows us to truly reflect on our desires but also to focus on ourselves during the waiting period. Our careers, our health and our personal bank accounts are all important factors that should be our priority during this time.
Until my own personal “Mr. Right” does appear, who has enough self-respect for himself and enough regard for his family and his partner, I prefer to spend this time continuously working on Sandy Daley: and that in itself is a very, very tiring job.