‘A new lease on life & love for 2013!’ – “RELATIONSHIPS” with Sandy Daley
Nowadays, the common thing among men is to “not really want a relationship!” Unfortunately, some women are still acting “desperate”, for a lack of a better word, by allowing themselves to be used and abused, and thrown by the wayside as one relationship after another ends. Of course women need to be more in control of their emotions, but we also need to try to get to the root of the problem, by asking ourselves the appropriate questions.
Which leads me to wonder, have men really lost focus and really have no idea on how to deal with women anymore? Have our roles changed so much over the years that no one wants to be married, or even be in a committed relationship anymore? With a new year upon us, now is as good a time as any to tackle this issue I believe.
Many woman after a successful night out with a new man will think, “he seems like a wonderful man and I think that he is the one.” You can see him as the father of your future children and the love of your life. You go home and are all gushy and in love, and you call him and tell him in your sweetest voice, “what a wonderful time you had.” Only problem though, is that he never calls you back and does not respond-not even with a Facebook message or a text. As much as I dread these two methods of communication, with technology these days, there is just no excuse. If he has not called or “Facebooked” you, get the point my friend: he is not that interested.
Women tend to try to force the issue with a man. Okay, so you like him a lot and you have already picked out your bridesmaids dresses and your drapes for your house in the suburbs. Unfortunately, he has not! So you “will” yourself (and him, too), to let this dream of yours come true. But he has not even called once to at least begin the actual baby-making and family-building process. You don’t need a crystal ball or a psychologist to tell you what is going on.
The one thing that you are not is “desperate”. Not because you are trying not to seem desperate, but because you really are not. The difference between you and the other women, who are constantly trying to win his attention, is that you don’t need him to succeed and to thrive. There is no pretense in this statement, as the only things that should be on your mind are your career, your family, and your well-being. Finding the right man is like finding the right shoe; they are all so pretty and shiny, but they don’t all fit! Your man should fit into your world, not you into his. From my experience with men (and there have been a few), I have surmised that men will take and take and take until you have no more to give. You have to put your foot down from the very beginning if you want your prospective man to know that you are not at his beck and call.
“But I think that he still loves me Sandy, and he just does not know how to show it,” one friend said to me recently about her man who was now neglecting her. “Well then, until he gets a clue and knows what to do, you just do You until such time,”I said to her.”Remember that even at 100 years old, he can still find a young chick to be with; you on the other hand as a woman, will not be so lucky,” I went on to say. Harsh, I know, but necessary!
You do this by not making yourself available for him whenever he wants, and by not calling him constantly, as if your day depended upon his voice. Men pick up on desperation, so don’t act like a desperate chick! He should be working overtime to get to you and wondering where you are, not the other way around. It is common knowledge that there are more women out there than men, so make sure that he knows that he has an independent woman who can stand on her own two feet if need be.