“Relationships” with Sandy Daley – ‘A man can never give you stability!’
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote, “The heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”
This statement, old and rustic as it may be, should be the rule, in my opinion, on how to achieve success. Unfortunately though, many will never fully understand, nor truly grasp the meaning-unless you really want to. What is your legacy? How will the world remember you when you die? Will your children be able to inherit anything, or are you only concerned about having a man in your bed at night?
Needless to say, one must be willing to sacrifice, focus and stay on course, no matter what life throws at you. Difficult as this may be, the legacy that we leave, not only for ourselves, but also for our children, should be in the forefront of our minds each day. A clear vision, mixed with the ability to dream, and dream BIG should be our passion. I am a true believer in my vision, even if no one else is. “They will come around”, is my motto: and they have.
My belief, as I have stated many times before in this column, is that God should be the only one who is able to deny me my wishes. This however, must be coupled with hard work, as a dream needs not only support, but also your genuine focus-even if you lose some friends along the way. “So Sandy, you mean to God seh yu not coming out wid us tonight of all nights?” my girlfriends complained to me over the past year, almost each Saturday night. “How yu so boring? How are you ever going to find somebody cooped up in your house in front of de computer?”
“No man, you guys just go ahead as I have a lot of work to do,” I would say to them. This has been my life for the last two years; constant work, no fun and almost no sex. Almost celibacy is not bad! You should try it sometimes, as it keeps me focused! During the year, while I concentrated on nothing but the completion my book and my work, it certainly has made me appreciate the value of hard work. I have also finally come to realize that yes, hard work does pay off. During a recent trip to Jamaica, to do a light promotion for my book “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?”- the book that consumed my every waking minute – never before did this statement manifest itself so strongly to me.
Now that I have “tun it up” as we say in Jamaica, with my hot new underwear line, I have less time for tomfoolery or any situation that takes my focus away. Unfortunately, this goes for my private life as well. Should I break up with my new man in order to re- focus more now on my career and this new venture? Will he understand that from now on, his time with me will be extremely limited? Unfortunately for him, that is a the legacy that I am fighting to achieve, to pass on to my children and if he does not understand, then the relationship will be terminated by me. I know that it is a price that I am willing to, and must pay, as most men in my opinion, cannot handle a strong woman, as many feel threatened.
Now officially dubbed as the Vagina lady, and with requests from major media and news outlet, I am glad that I toiled away and sweated during those lonely, dreary and depressing Saturday nights in front of the computer. “Lee, me se Sandy ina de Sunday Gleaner last week big big,” said my aunt from Jamaica, while on the phone a few nights ago. “And all the church ladies want a vagina book,” she continued to say. “Church ladies with a vagina book?” I queried myself internally, while I listened on three way to my aunt and mom while they conversed.
“ Isn’t there some sort of rule against that? Oh Lawd! For sure now I am going to hell,” I said to myself. I will just have to explain to God on my day of reckoning, that it was my way of bringing the women closer to an understanding of themselves. The Lord will probably crook his head to one side, raise his eyebrows and say, “But Sandy, yu couldn’t find another way to achieve your goal ma’am?” I know vagina is not a bad word, but you could have easily given them more quotes from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow! Next time Lord! Mek mi secure my legacy first!