NEW FEATURE: “Relationships with Sandy Daley” – ‘There is no such thing as a “Mr. Right”‘
I have always known the type of man that would make me want to at least “slow down” one day. Of course he would have to be worldly, educated, funny, full of swag, a little bit hood and romantic at the same time. He certainly had to be ambitious, self-driven, Godly, compromising and also respectful of his elders and his culture. He also had to be confident, meeting most of my requirements, and certainly not breaking my “deal breaker” requests – and there are many. Tall order right? Could such a man be alive and not just be a figment of my imagination? Is there a Mr. Right for Sandy Daley? I tend not to think so.
To be completely honest with you, I myself thought that this man would never surface, a dream never to be full-filled, as I envisioned myself with a geeky-looking man with thick-rimmed glasses as my back-up. He would be saying, “Yes Sandy” or “Anything you want Sandy”, as I shouted at him rudely for leaving the toilet seat up: again. The thought of a “Yes Man”, not able to hold his ground with me when I challenged him, and challenge him I will, repelled me to my core as I know that this type of man would not stand a chance with me. As is obvious, I, Sandy Daley, author, columnist, radio personality, actress and mother to two grown men, will run over a man like a Mack truck if allowed. As I do not intend to add to the increasingly high ratio of divorce or infidelity which has plagued our society over the last few years, (recent studies reveal that 45-55 % of married women and 50-60 % of married men engage in extramarital relationship at some point of their relationship), I will not marry unless I am 100 percent sure of my choice. Why marry someone whom you might not be entirely attracted to in the first place? Why add to the statistics is my question?
Believe you me, I am as modern as the next woman, but also as old-fashioned as your Pentecostal aunt scurrying to Church every Sunday, with her bible clutched tightly to her bosom. You know that aunt right? The one that complains to your mother by stating, “God forbid the young ladies of today who have no morals to stand on and can’t boil water to save their lives, much less know how to keep a man happy and get him to marry her.” And of course, she also has to enquire as to, “Why is your skirt so short Sandy, and why are you always talking about vaginas on the radio or TV when you come to Jamaica? I mean, you do sound intelligent and smart, but I can’t even tell people that you are my niece!” My apologies my friends, I do digress, as that is my life!
The way how I rationalize things these days in order to make sense of it all, is that one has to go through a lot of pain and suffering in order for them to figure out their likes and dislikes when choosing a partner. You must have a guider of sorts in order to steer you in the right direction. If not, you will be nothing more than a loose leaf blowing aimlessly in the wind, landing anywhere and nowhere of substance. Closely examine your relationship or situation with a man as you would a job, only moving forward if there is a probability of favourable emotional gains. You have to know what you want from a man, and know what you deserve. Approach the situation with teenager-like qualities, still willing to believe in love and throwing all caution to the wind- but still, fully in control of yourself. Do not be that loose leaf in the wind, blowing under cars or on top of trees, as if you have no say in what happens to your life.
“Get excited about your life”, I say to you in my best Dr. Phil voice, without the bald head and the funny smile of course. Oh well, what do I know? Oprah thought he was good enough and gave him a show! I will stop hating on him now, as what is good enough for Oprah is good enough for me! See, I do know when to play nice, gentlemen…
Sandy began writing for Street Hype Newspaper, based out of New York City in 2007. Sandy’s column, “Real Talk with Sandy“, is now one of the most talked about and well-read columns in the newspaper, and can also now be read in “Pride News magazine” which is published in Toronto, Canada.
Her new project The Daley Grind (her new radio and television show) which is aired in 5 States, is one of the most listened shows on the airwaves. Her hot new underwear and lingerie line is quickly becoming a must have for all the ladies as well. She is also currently working on her own online magazine, aptly named “Sandy Online”, due to be launched by the end of December, 2012.