So, I told you about Johno’s pizza, right? Now I am sorry I did! If you saw the flyer, beware, their real pizzas do not look anywhere near as good as the one you see in the poster!

So, for those who wish to get the short version…

1. The call was answered unprofessionally
2. I did not get what I ordered
3. I had to wait long as sh*te

Those are the headlines and now for the details –

I get a call from the wife she didn’t wanna cook, neither did I but she wanted pizza for a change… So I thought let me try this new pizza place when I get home. I log on to the Net so I can get the number from my article and I call the cell number, then…

“Yeah?”

“Um, is this Johno’s Pizza?”

“Yeh”

Now that did not exactly inspire confidence in me, but I said let me try anyway – I learn what the garnishes are… Pepperoni; pineapple; ham; mushroom; sweet pepper and corn. I say give me a medium (14″) everything except corn, and I want the buy 2 get 1 free special.

The guy, in his best imitation of Nick from Family Ties, says the special is not on until 7 (it was 6:48) but he would “sort me out” – this was done by not arriving until 7:59 when the dog, cats, wife and step-daughter were contemplating if I could fit in the oven with an apple in the mouth!

Hey, guess what? The pizza came with corn anyway – it was a very grumpy dinner, usually I savage a pizza but I ate about 3 slices and left some back for lunch the next day (with muy Tabasco).

Last night, there was still a third pizza in the fridge and the household nah touch it, can’t blame ’em!

As for the pizza itself – the dough is not crisp like New York Pizza, there was not much pepperoni and the ham was salty even for me, the cheese is kinda gluey; if you tear a slice you may end up taking half of the toppings off of a next slice this means the topping is adhesive but the dough is a bit too soft. I don’t recall encountering much of the mushrooms.

The best pizza was Barbados Pizza House which then became Pizzaz, but when each branch sold over to the interests at the various locations (eg: Pizzaz in Hastings was bought over by Amaryllis) then the quality went down the tubes faster than when Bob Woolmer‘s body hit the Jamaican ground back in March.

Then again, when New York Pizza started it was dreadful too, then they improved, so hopefully Johno’s will read this and take it in the spirit of improvement and not react like another fast food emporium to criticism!